beautiful.

“I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in the bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms? Or would you leave the snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree? And if you would, would you notice how that tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms to hug you every time you kiss him on the cheek? Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you sleep beside them when they’re sad, even if it makes your lover mad? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother’s joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind. Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel. See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people’s wounds.”

—	Andrea Gibson

taken from this delightful blog! thank you for the inspiration x

UNI, 23 and plans.

"Because, if I was gunna go somewhere, I'd be there by now,

And maybe I can let myself down, ohh.

And thinking that I'm unaware, I keep my feet on the ground, keep looking around, to make sure I'm not, the only one to feel low,

Because if you want, I'll take you in my arms and keep you sheltered, from all that I've done wrong,

And I know you'll say, that I'm the only one.

But I know that God made another one of me to love you better than I ever will."

- U.N.I, Ed Sheeran

One of the main things I got out of my trip to Tauranga a couple of weeks ago, was the appreciation for Ed Sheeran's "U.N.I". I'd always skipped that song on my ipod, never truly stopping to listen to the lyrics, or appreciate the changing quickness and slowness of the pace. We were in the car travelling back home from the airport in Auckland to home in Tauranga, and my sixteen-year-old nephew was listening to his ipod. 
"What's your fave Ed Sheeran song?" he asked.
"Um. Probably Give Me Love."
"I love U.N.I."
"What's that?" I honestly had no clue. I always thought it was pronounced "Uni". Awks.
He put one of the headphones in my ears, and we both just sat in silence listening to it, and then the rest of +. It was great. I was happy, you know those moments where you get that happy feeling in your tummy.
I get that feeling a lot. 

Life is good.
It's my birthday tomorrow! I am 23. Vingt trois. Old! I'm making a playlist/cleaning my room for my birthday party on Saturday as we speak.
On the agenda - my birthday tomorrow, then Wearable Arts on Thursday, party on Saturday. Pretty excite. 

garden state of mind.

the tale of the spanner.

I wish I had, or was, a spanner.

Okay, here's the story behind the spanner.
My good friend told me that on Saturday night she went out drinking with some of her flatmates (she has recently moved into a flat with four guys...New Girl, much?!) and one of the guys named Robbie was talking about this girl he liked and how his friend liked her, and it was all this huge drama. Robbie and my friend were talking all night, and they got along really well, and then he turned to her and said "Has anyone ever called you a spanner?"
My friend looked offended and said "That's not a very nice thing to say!"
He then said, "No, it's not a bad thing at all...it's like, "throw a spanner in the works". You're the spanner in my works." Basically meaning, I suppose, that he now likes her.
My friend was shocked, and told him that she's not ready for a relationship etc. She does not like him like that, etc.

I relayed this all to my workmate today. He had a few laffs, and then he said "Is there a spanner in your works, Jamo?"

I said no. I have no spanner in my works, nor am I a spanner in anyone's works (well, I don't think I am...you never really know, do you?).
I want to be a spanner.

In someone's works.

forever alone.

I phoned my mum today at work.
Note: I rarely call my mum out of the blue, usually we text beforehand "is now a good time?"

So, I called her to confirm the airport pick up tomorrow morning (I'm going home for a week, SO excited!)

Mum: "Hello?"
Me: "Helloooo, it's Jamie!"
Mum: *Silence* "Hi..."
Me: "Hey! I, uh, I'm just calling to let ya know what time my pick up is!"
Mum: *Silence* "Uhh...okay?"
Me (starting to get a bit weirded out that Mum doesn't care about me calling her...forever alone): "Yeah, so it's at 9:30!"
*silence*
Me: "Are you there?"
Mum: "Yes, I uh..."
Me: "Mum, it's me...it's Jamie."
Mum: "NO WAY. Jamie! OH MY GOD. I am so sorry, I thought you were someone who had the wrong number! You sound different on the phone..."

Gawd, Mum. Way to make a girl feel special.
I love her.
Even when she doesn't recognise my voice.

it's a pug life.

There's this pug, I know...she's the one I'm dreaming of, oh oh. She looks in my eyes, takes me to the clouds above, uh huh. 

My sister has the cutest pug called Betty and I love her. She's my little buddy every time I go up to Auckland. Cutest snore, cutest snuffle, cutest little tail.

girlsgirlsgirlsgirls

these are amazing!

there's nothing i'm more excited for than girls season 2. 

well, maybe game of thrones season 3. 

or the fact that i'm going to tauranga on saturday to see my family.

eee!

time to go get ready for work. got 15 minutes, and i'm not dressed yet. 

death of a phone & chocolate olives.

good things:
- make up splurge
- me and the bestie watched Step Up 4 (in France they call it Sexy Dance 4...ahahaha)
- i watched lots of 30 rock yesterday. lots.
- my bestie is back from france!

bad things:
- my phone broke.

the good outweighs the bad, so that's a relief, but the phone sitch is pretty lame.

on wednesday, i stupidly put my drink bottle in my bag with EVERYTHING and it leaked EVERYWHERE. all over my phone, charger, my creative writing (i had to hand out my soggy writing that night at our meeting, saying "sorry guys, it's a bit wet..."), my wallet, everything. i regret it, big time.
my phone as a result has never been the same since. it's been turning off and on every five minutes, with a very loud start-up noise (my workmate said "is there any way to turn that thing off?!" yes, it was very annoying) and has not been charging.
as of last night, may it rest in peace. it's kaput. done for. it's my first smartphone and i've managed to break it after three months. high five, right? i took it into the 2degrees phone store today and they said i need to take it to this other store tomorrow and they may be able to fix it. emphasis on the may. i am having the biggest withdrawls (instagram, draw something, texting people...the usual.)

to get me out of my phone depression, i went and had lunch at gloria jeans coffee and read magazines all morning. my fave thing to do :) during uni, i would always pop down the cable car to Borders with my friend Becky, grab a handful of magazines and we would sit there for hours, reading and drinking coffee.
i then went on a make-up mission at Farmers.

toes and fingernails are all painted, and i'm sitting here eating chocolate olives my bestie bought back from her trip to france. they are DELICIOUS! (note: they are not olives, but chocolate covered almonds with a olive-y decorated outside. so yum.)