Us 3 girls are off to the USA in 3 weeks and we have almost, almost finished all our booking...because we live in different cities, we use our Google Hangout video chats to talk about the trip and book some shit. Google Hangout is so much fun! You'll find me with the moustache...(trying out the special effects). 

booked: resort in Orlando, apartment in New York (eee!), house in Portland and our hotel in LA.

what needs to be booked: hotel in San Francisco, car hire from San Fran to LA anddddd...maybe that's it! 

So excited and nervous all at the same time. 

ms mr, feelings & cold.

how could you be what i wanna see?

these guys remind me of Florence & The Machine. so great! so so great. 

also, this link is amazing. it might make me seem like the girl from Mean Girls who wants to bake a cake of rainbows and has a lot of feelings. but...it's kind of true. i'm that girl. i've always felt a lot; i get excited about small things and i'm generally happy and enthusiastic about life. i'm always affected by other people's emotions, shedding a tear at weddings and birthday cards and family gatherings and when Forrest Gump talks to Jenny's gravestone at the end of the movie (always).  i just can't help it, and i wish i could somehow tone these feelings down. it makes me who i am though, and i don't want to try and be something i'm not. i am a giant ball of happy/sad/anythingundertherainbow. 

watching psych, meant to be practicing the keyboard, but i'm too warm and cosy on the lazy boy and i don't want to move. wellington is so cold right now! dayuuuum. 

night world.
i love you. 
x

this damn movie

"Jordana and I enjoyed an atavistic, glorious fortnight of lovemaking, humiliating teachers and bullying the weak. I have already turned these moments into the Super-8 footage of memory."

- Oliver Tate, Submarine (2010)

The flatmate & I spent our Sunday watching movies, and I fell in love with Submarine. I didn't really care much for Jordana, but Oliver was so spesh. Him and his adorable father. The soundtrack is amazing! I want to listen to it forever. 

FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE. I HOPE YOU LIVE A LIFE YOU’RE PROUD OF, AND IF YOU FIND THAT YOU’RE NOT, I HOPE YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

—   f. scott fitzgerald

ben & leslie forever.

These two are the most perfect people in the world. 

My fave? 

Text Message Day. It's on my birthday, and it's the cutest thing. 

such fun!

I bought a keyboard. He's beautiful, and I'm learning to play Hero by Regina Spektor.
I took a taxi home after I bought it, and sitting awkwardly in the backseat with a box the length of my body, the taxi driver lit up and smiled at me in the mirror. "Keyboard, eh?!"
"Yeah, I'm learning how to play."
"Oh, you're new to it! That's awesome. My son plays the keyboard and he loves it. It's such a great instrument. Make sure you sing along with the music."
"Okay, I will."
"Enjoy it - and don't forget, sing along! Don't just play it. Sing."

I will, Mr Taxi Driver. I will.

ps: if you're reading this, thanks James! i probably never would have bought one had it not been for you, and our amazing lunchtime music room sessions. 

late night questions.

i wonder what my parents have gone through when it comes to love. 

did they ever fall for the wrong person? who did mum first fall in love with? what was he like? was he good to her? how did she act around him? how did he make her feel? did she make mistakes?

who did dad first love? dad, who didn't marry until he was in his 30s. did girls love him but he wasn't able to commit? or did he just not find a girl worth his love? he was scarred from his parents' divorce, he told me, and thought he'd never get married. then he met mum, and everything changed. was she his first love? what did he feel when he first met her? a funny feeling in his tummy? or a gradual feeling over time?

did they ever go through what i've been through or what i'm going through? i need to know i'm not alone. that things may be hard now, but they have a way of working themselves out.

queen of nostalgia.

I've been learning a lot about myself lately. I've learnt that the one thing that really gets me down is the fact that moments are fleeting. Things are so...inconsistent and people are changing all the time. I'm a nostalgic, forever holding on to the past and hoarding memories; photos, quotes, things people say, little memories etched in my heart. It's when these moments end I get this feeling like something's missing. When people change, you know, like all people do; when they act differently around you and you miss the times when they were lovely and you laughed and you were close and just everything.

I'm just finding it hard realising that things are never consistent and they always change and people might love you at one point but maybe not at another (and maybe I've loved people at one point and not at another). It's hard. It makes me want to bottle up feelings and moments and take them out whenever I'm blue, or maybe to tell someone, "look, you felt this way once! Remember? What happened?"

I love people, a lot. And I get used to people being around, a lot.