Chatter, chips and cider

"I don't like him, because I don't think about him before I go to sleep," she said, over curly fries and cider. "That's how you know you like someone." 

sunday.

Hi guys! Here's a mix of things that have inspired me/made me smile/made me think lately.
I've had a wonderful week in the new house, hanging with friends and laughter in the workplace. We've also got a new addition to the flat, a gorgeous wee Ragdoll kitten named Blanche. I'm in love with her. Pictures soon!
x

I JUST WANT TO POUR MY SOUL OUT ON SOMEONE AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE MESS I’VE MADE.

— andrea slicker

conversations

"I just...like to make people happy," I said.
"I know," she replied, with a little sympathetic smile.

"She says jump, and you say, how high?" he said.
"What?"

It really made me think. Part of my personality is just that I don't like to cause conflict, and I like to make people feel happy and at ease. But with that kind of comes a price. I am afraid of causing any pain, or arguments, that I struggle to stand up for things that really matter to me. I watched The Kite Runner last night, and realised that out of Hassan & Amir, I am Hassan. Hassan who would do anything for Amir, regardless of what Amir would do for him in return. Selfless. I told my friend James today and he said, I don't think you being a Hassan is a bad thing.

Maybe it's not a bad thing. I like Hassan. Out of the two characters, I would prefer to be friends with him.

There is a line, though, between accepting who you are, and making appropriate changes for your own well-being.

keeping.

can i keep you? 
will these all just be memories one day?
will i look back and say, that was me at 24? this is me now? where has it all gone?
can I keep you?
i don't know if you want to be kept.
but, i'll keep you if you want to keep me too. 

winter wonderland, i wish.

I like summer. 

But whenever it's Christmas time, I always wish it was snowing and I could wear Christmas jumpers and hats and gloves, and all the decorations on the tree matched the world outside. It just doesn't fit, sweating on Christmas day and being wet from swimming in the pool. It doesn't feel right. Damn you, southern hemisphere seasons! 

I'm still excited for Christmas though, regardless :) 

"There are people who show their care by making people feel like welcome, tended to guests. They love having people over and making things perfect for them, reminding them that anything they want is no problem. There are people who use humor to bridge the gaps that we can’t always reach in literal terms — they make people laugh when they need it most, and connect with them over things they both enjoy.

There are people whose love pours out in complicated, profound words. They could fill books on the way their partner looks when they just wake up, or how much they love spending time with their best friend. People love to cook for the ones they love, or do favors, or pamper them, or compliment them, or just hold their hand in silence. And none of these demonstrations of emotion are wrong, or bad. None are not worthy of being acknowledged and appreciated.

The truth is that there will be a million people in your life who actually don’t love you, whose dismissal of your feelings or tendency to ignore what you want are rooted in genuine apathy. They are everywhere, and make navigating our emotional lives even more complicated. But there are also many people who do love us, and who want to show us, but just may not be able to do it in the way we most want to hear. And it’s important to distinguish between the two, to look at the things people are actively doing for us and take account of the things we’re lucky to have in them. Because we are lucky to have love — in any of its forms — and no way of saying “I love you” should be forgotten about."

- Thought Catalog 

the return

It's been a funny few months, you know. I realised when I was walking to the shop this morning, that this whole moving house thing is really good for me. Oh yeah, I'm moving house in two weeks! I can't wait.
But yeah, like I said, it's good for me. Lately I've been feeling very sorry for myself about certain things, and I haven't been feeling like myself. I hate that.

When I was going through my room today, I saw a card my friend Michelle gave me on my 20th birthday. It read: "Your never-ceasing positive attitude never fails to make me smile. You are a truly unique person, whom I think is just rad." And just like that, I remember. The Jamie who was always laughing and smiling about anything. The joker in the group. The one who saw the positive in everything. I love that Jamie. Recently, that Jamie has been pushed aside and this anxious, worried, pessimistic girl has taken over.

So I walked to the shop in the sun, with a perfect song on my iPod, and I just felt good about the world again. About things that are beyond my control. About people I really care about, and how I just want the best for them. About people who don't fit you, and the people who do. About trying to be the best I can be. I'm excited for: my weekly movie nights with James, moving house with my besties Pauline & Kate, my summer in Tauranga with the family, Ellie Goulding in June (got tickets!!!!!) and a new year where anything could happen.

And with that, I'm good.

yes

"Well, you were a dancer,
and I was a rag.
The song in my head,
well, it was all that I had.
Hope was a letter I never could send,
well, love was a country we couldn't defend."

- Big Black Car, Gregory Alan Isakov

turn down the lights.

His voice is better than chocolate. & that's saying something, because I love chocolate.

(also check out "Run Forever" & every other song on the album Prize...)