blues.

I have a tendency to get sad. Not sobbing on my bed (well, there have been the odd occasions) kinda sad, but just this feeling of absolute sadness that comes out of nowhere and just takes over. Whenever this happens, I try and figure out what the cause is - usually it's my shyness. Don't get me wrong, I'm not always this quiet, timid person. I have a massive laugh, and once I'm comfortable with someone I will chew your ear off and crack rad jokes. But it's when I'm not comfortable with people, is when I'm shy and awkward. It really gets me down. It's the things that I want to say, but I can't, it's those moments where I could've said something but I didn't, those moments where other people say all the right things at the right time, but I don't.
It's me comparing myself with other people. Me wishing I was smart, beautiful, with the funny one-liners. It's me regretting what I haven't said. I find myself waking up every morning thinking, today I'll say what I want to say and I'll say what I mean. But then the shyness takes over. 

I'm determined to not let this get to me. I am more than my shyness. I am so, so much more.