Sail on, silver girl.

I'm nineteen going on twenty, and I still haven't got things figured out yet. I'm an adult, I have entered the world (not entirely, but as much as possible), I know the way of the world. But there's some unanswered questions.
I am a dreamer. I dream of going to the past, going to a world where you listen to records laying down, with a bottle of wine or passing around a smoke, laughing and singing, doing the twist on the carpet in bare feet. Or the time when you ran down the road and didn't care you were getting wet, and when you didn't know what anyone else was doing all the time, because you didn't read their Faceboook everyday.
Life now consists of experiences, experiences that may not be as good as you thought but having Facebook photos there to show people you were in with everyone, and in that moment, makes it so much better. What would life be without PHOTOS? Would we just have to live in the moment? Wouldn't it be nice (if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so longggg?)

Movies bring me happiness and inspiration, for love, friendship, anything. Some people say don't trust a movie; they will only let you down, but I know there's elements of truth in a movie. There is happiness and love in the world - I want to find it. I want to find it like some people have, I want a Paul Newman, I want to be his steak, and his world. My heart has been broken recently. Knowing finally what it feels like to have someone you saw everyday fade away so slowly but surely, makes me realise that...it does hurt to lose someone. It does hurt like they say.
And it does take longer than expected to recover.

I want to run and lose myself in the wilderness, I want to go live at home, I want to take a road trip with my father, I want to listen to records, and skip through a field. I want to learn the harmonica and play the piano, and play my favourite songs on it and sing along to it. I want to learn to drink wine without screwing my face up, without my tastebuds at the back of my mouth exploding like fireworks.
I want to move to Australia and live in the heat and become marmite with tan. I want to tell everyone I know what I REALLY think about them, so they know that I think they are absolutely rad, and I don't care that you lied about not coming to my party? Because I do that too?